Make Over

I've been noticing a trend throughout all my favourite TV shows and favourite genre of movies: the power of the make-over. 
Unpopular girl is reached out to by a popular classmate who then gives her a make over. And voila. Everybody loves the once unpopular girl. 
I'm surprised Hollywood is still doing this little gimmick in their shows and movies. And I really don't think that it works in real life. 


And what kind of message is this sending to little girls? That they have to be pretty to be liked? 
It's ridiculous.


This reminds me a little bit about a docmentary I recently watched, which was recommended by a fellow blogger.  It's called Miss Representation. I'm not typically a fan of documentaries, but this one hit home with me. I've copied the blurb on the Miss Representation website (missrepresentation.org) which gives a little info about the film below:


"Like drawing back a curtain to let bright light stream in, Miss Representation (90 min; TV-14 DL) uncovers a glaring reality we live with every day but fail to see. Written and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the film exposes how mainstream media contribute to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America. The film challenges the media’s limited and often disparaging portrayals of women and girls, which make it difficult for women to achieve leadership positions and for the average woman to feel powerful herself.

In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65% of women and girls have disordered eating behaviors.

Stories from teenage girls and provocative interviews with politicians, journalists, entertainers, activists and academics, like Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem build momentum as Miss Representation accumulates startling facts and statistics that will leave the audience shaken and armed with a new perspective."

It's a really moving piece of film, and I recommend all to see it. Because as women, we are constantly bombarded with these messages and images of women who need to be "pretty" to get ahead in life. And undermined as leaders. 


It bothers me, and it especially bothers me when certain shows like Degrassi  (my guilty pleasure) buy into these messages. I'm currently watching an episode where the quirky theatre girl goes through a make-over. I haven't actually gotten to the part where others see her in her new look. But I have a feeling it's like past shows and movies like "She's All That"...  or even "Drive Me Crazy" (which actually had a guy going through a make-over and gaining popularity). I'll be pleasantly surprised if the show veers onto another outcome of this make over. 


I wonder what would happen if I got a makeover? Would my classmates suddenly like me? 
I actually don't really care to find out. I'm not going to change myself to please others. What you see now is what you get. 

Childish Behaviour

I'm twenty-three. And I like to think I act older than that. I handle things in a mature, adult way. Or I like to think so anyway.
For the last week, I was at J's for part of my Spring Break. Which was awesome, I missed him so much and was glad to have more than just two days with him. We found lots of stuff to do, and went out and spent time with his friends one evening, then my friends last evening.
Anyway, last year when I lived with him, we bought a boxed cake mix. But never used it. Last time I was there, I noticed that same cake mix in the cupboard when we were organizing. It had a best before date of November 2011, but we decided to keep it anyway. But that weekend was super busy so we didn't get around to it. So we saved it until this week. While I was there, I asked J if I could make the cake. Since I didn't want somewhat good food to go to waste. Cake mixes can get expensive you know.

So I made the cake yesterday. I only had enough time to take it out of the oven and let it cool before J and I left for some errands, and to meet up with friends for dinner. Turns out I made a mistake when I made the cake, because I used one of J's roommate's cake pans to do so. And didn't clean it right away, although I did have the intention of cleaning it later when I did get home.
And this roommate can get very territorial over things like that. I may have written a rant about her before when I was living with them at the time. But anyway, she texted J while we were out with friends, bitching at him for using the cake pan.
J decided to ignore it.
Then as we were walking home after dinner, he said he wouldn't be surprised if the cake pan had been cleaned by her and hidden by the time we got home.
Well, turns out he was right. When we got home, the cake pan was no where in sight.

This sort of annoys me. This roommate of his is 36. She's an adult, but she's acting like a 3 year old who doesn't want to share with anybody. My parents definitely taught me the value of sharing by age 3 I'm pretty sure.

I mean, hiding something like that so nobody but her can use it? It's ridiculous.
I'm thirteen years younger than this person, and I act a whole lot older than she does.
Childish behaviour from adults does not sit well with me.

If she didn't want her cake pan to be used, she could've said so nicely when we got home. I wouldn't have minded. I would have said sorry for overstepping her boundaries by that point. But since she hid the damn thing, well, I don't think she would've wanted me to say sorry. So I didn't. I actually ended up avoiding her the rest of my stay to avoid a temper tantrum.
Which is just as well, because even though I'm a calm person that doesn't like a lot of ruckus, I probably would have given her a piece of my mind by that point. And that wouldn't help anybody, since J would be stuck living with her after I came back here.

I guess I'll never be baking at J's house anymore. Which is unfortunate, since I like to bake, and it goes get hard to bake a lot of delicious treats for just myself, because then I end up having to eat it all by myself.
With the exception of missing J like crazy, I have to admit I'm glad I moved away. I now have the freedom to cook in my own kitchen, comfortably ...although I should have been able to do so last year as well. But I digress...

I really don`t know how to approach this situation. J already knows how I feel about this roommate of his, and agrees that she acts childish and selfish, but doesn't want to confront her about it, because it would get worse. If that's possible. But how is someone supposed to learn how to behave more adult, if nobody tells her about it?

New ink

So yesterday I finally went and got my tattoo in memory of my Grandmother!
She was the only grandparent I only really knew throughout the last 23 years. So she meant a lot to me.
And I took her death pretty hard. So a few months ago, I wanted something to remember her by forever.
I had told J that I wanted a tattoo that showed what I remembered about her the most: her hugs. She always had one available for me when I needed or wanted one.
So J drew a rough sketch of the concept, and I sent it to the tattoo artist.
Yesterday he did the freelance drawing of the rough sketch and the picture below shows the finished product.

As you can see, it's a larger heart with a halo and wings hugging a smaller heart. And her birthdate underneath. I omitted the death date at the last minute. I think it was for the better to not include it. I wanted to remember her life and not when she died, if that makes sense.
And I feel like she'll still always be available for a spiritual kind of hug throughout the rest of my life, so this tattoo is a very accurate representation of my feelings. :)

Just what I needed

After feeling pretty down about myself this past week, my best friend texted me today and said she'd be in the city this afternoon and wanted to know if we could do lunch.
Of course I said yes!

It's just what I needed to, to be around someone who I know cares about me. It lifted my spirits, because I know I have wonderful friends. And those 8-9 girls in my class, will soon be a thing of the past.
My best friend and I talked over a lovely meal at Applebee's, both catching each other up on the past month of not seeing each other. And I let her know how I was seriously getting frustrated and discouraged with the social aspect of school, or lack thereof, maybe even cried a bit.

But since that lunch this afternoon I have decided that I'm going to try and not get myself down over this issue anymore. There's only a month left of classes after the Spring Break which begins at 7:00pm tomorrow when my last class of the week finishes. Then those girls who have made a clique that excludes me, will be gone. They are most likely moving away and I won't have to see them anymore. They don't deserve my tears, and they have most definitely missed out on getting to know a wonderful person (if I do say so myself).
I'm very grateful for the people who are in my life, as they will likely be a part of my life for a very long time. We may not live around each other anymore, but I know they are there for me nonetheless.

So yeah, that's definitely what I needed today. And in 2 days I'll be off to see J for almost a whole week. Can't wait!

Valentine's day

So it's Valentine's day.
As you can probably tell by all the pink and red everywhere. And people complaining about it too.
But here I am, fairly neutral on the whole day.

While I do believe this day has become way too commercialized and puts the pressure on people to spend money they don't have, I think the idea of the day is what I enjoy. What is really wrong with having a day set aside to let your loved ones know that you love them. I think everybody has a loved one in one way or another, whether it is a spouse, parent, child, friend, etc. And yes, I think telling those people you care about that you love them is something you should do everyday. But I don't know. I sort of think that Valentine's day is a good way to break up the winter blahs. For me anyway. Of course it does make those who are single more aware of the fact that they are single. But it shouldn't.

What I think is that Valentine's day is really similar to Mother's Day and Father's day. They are all days set aside to let certain people in your life that you care. And all three are very commercialized, yet it seems a lot more people are extremely cynical when it comes to V-day.
Of course not everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife.
But not everyone has a mother to celebrate mother's day with either. Or a father for father's day. So why are those two days more accepted than this day.
I say enjoy it.
I'm not celebrating today, as I had class today and won't get to see J until Friday at the earliest. But we'll still have our own mini celebration.
And I'll be celebrating tomorrow as well by myself when I go to the grocery store to purchase marked down heart shaped chocolates :p

So I don't know if I'm totally neutral on this, but the way I see it is that even if J and I weren't together, I'd still be getting chocolate on sale either way. Silver lining folks, silver lining.

On the ball

Throughout my undergrad, I got into the terrible habit of leaving assignments until the last minute. Well not extremely last minute, but I'd usually start and finish something the day before it was due.
I decided to change that this year when I started my Masters.

Currently I don't have a job outside of school, so I only really have classes 4 days a week for 2 and a half hours each day. There are a lot of readings, but I've managed to stay on top of those, and do all my assignments for the upcoming week. I was supposed to have something due tomorrow, Tuesday and Thursday. But the assignments for tomorrow and Thursday were extended by the instructor for some reason. But I decided to get them done for this week anyway. I see it as having a more relaxing vacation during my spring break next week, as those two assignments will be due shortly after classes resume.
I'm proud of myself for staying on the ball. It definitely alleviates the stress a bit.

While I see status updates on facebook of my classmates stressing the night before the assignment is due, I can sit back and relax.
Of course, now I'm debating whether I should hand these things in early or not. I don't want to look like a brown-noser in front of my classmates, they already seem to dislike me. But oh well, I'm trying to prove to myself that I can get through this program and not be totally stressed out about it. It's been working so far with separating my course load into 3 semesters as opposed to two. I may have been able to pull off taking 5 courses each semester in my undergrad, but there's just so much that needs to get done now even with just 4 courses, that I figured it was best to lessen my load. I took 3 courses last semester, and then after this semester I'll only have to take 3 more, for a total of 10. And I'll be finished!

I'm finally starting to feel a little better today now that I finished my last assignment that I set out to do today. I even had the time to watch a movie afterwards so I decided on "Breaking Dawn Pt 1" as part of the Twilight series. It was actually one of the better movies in that series.
Anyway now I'm just rambling and it's getting late, so I'm off to bed.
Night folks!

Frustrated

The transit workers are still on strike.
I know it's only been a week and I've seen strikes last a lot longer than this, but it's still incredibly frustrating. I'm lucky I live near my school so that's not putting me out. But in the run of a week, I only have about 10 hours worth of class time. And let's say I get roughly 10 hours of sleep each night. That's 80 hours in total that I've used up for the whole week, leaving me with 88 hours of stuff to do! I mostly sit at home, but I do need to get groceries once in a while. I'd usually take the bus, because the hill I have to walk up to get there is massive and windy; a royal pain in the ass. That would only take about 15 minutes.. and for this instance, it only really takes 10 minutes more to walk there. So again that's not a big deal. It's just getting the groceries home that leaves me in a bit of a dilemma. I walked to the grocery store this past Sunday. Wasn't so bad. I bought all my usual stuff, which included a box of 12 diet pepsi cans. I had planned to take a cab home anyway. But the cab didn't show for more than a half hour, and when it actually came to the half hour point, I was fed up, so I decided to walk home.
I was shaky by the time I actually did get home because it's hard to get the bags to stay in one place when you're trying to walk. And they were super heavy. It took me almost 40 minutes to walk home just because I had to stop and adjust my bags every few minutes or even every few steps.

The only thing I really worry about is getting to my dance classes. They are in the downtown core of the city, and I live on the outskirts. Normally a bus ride would take about 40 minutes. It's less by car but I don't have one of those. But walking from where I am living right now is close to 2 hours. That's assuming Google Maps gives me the quickest route to walk.
And I'm most definitely not the only one put out by this. It's been reported that this strike leaves 55 000 people at a loss for getting places each day. (It's a small scale city).

There were talks yesterday, and both sides took in new offers, but the union walked away this morning without striking a deal. And I won't get into too much detail... instead I'll just leave a link to a news report from today: CBC News report on Metro Transit Strike.
It's just frustrating and I can feel my blood boil. There was an elderly lady shown on the news cast this evening who relied on the bus service to get places. She has a wheelchair and she was crying when the reporter asked her opinion as the taxi driver was trying to fit her wheelchair into the vehicle. It's stories like this that break my heart. I know I'm not terribly at a loss during this strike, but these other people are.

I should go to bed. I'm just making myself angry now thinking about this. Sorry for the vent session tonight! I just needed to get it off my chest.

Need a break

I know it's only been a little over a month since the Winter semester started, but I have to say I'm really looking forward to Spring Break which begins next week.

I decided to take 4 courses this semester, and boy has it been  busy. I'm constantly reading about 30 articles per week. An average of about 6-7 per course. That's a lot of reading!

I've been doing well to keep on top of my work, but still quite stressed this semester. Between the death of that friend last month, schoolwork and constantly wondering why no body wants to hang out with me outside class (with the exception of inviting a whole group of people out to a bar - which I turned down), my body has decided to be wonky. I won't go into detail, just that I think my cycle is all messed up.
I have been going to bed later and later now, due to the fact I can't fall asleep as easily anymore. Not here anyway.

So by next Friday I will be ready for a break. And it can't come soon enough. I'll be so glad to be in J's arms again for almost a week. I'm also getting my tattoo then.

9 more days!

Old fashioned vs. New Age

Back about 50-60 years ago, women didn't work as much as they do now. Not for pay anyway. Most of their work was done in the house. To keep it clean, to keep meals on the table, etc.
Some still do that now.

But nowadays most women are in the workforce for pay. They still don't make as much as their male counterparts, but they are there and making a name for themselves.
I've noticed debates or comments around the blogosphere about women in the workforce. Certain comments about how women belong in the kitchen and need to cater to their families needs at some.
Some may enjoy that. But it's not for me.

In the future I actually want to have a balance between the two. And I'm very optimistic that it's possible. Right now I'm on the path to getting my Master's so I can enter into Public Health. Most public health jobs run from 8-4 or 9-5 Mon-Fri. That gives time in the evening to spend time with family. I don't have kids yet, but I hope to in a few years. I really want to be a career woman AND a mother at the same time. Is that so wrong?

It's a new age. Just because a woman works most certainly does not mean she's a bad parent.
And feminism is not a bad thing. From where I stand, it's about wanting to be equal with male counterparts. I don't necessarily agree with the man-hating side of feminism, because that's going beyond feminism and just labelling it as such.
I know this post is all over the place, but J and I have been discussing our future recently. Like what's going to happen after I graduate and after we get married and have kids. So it's been on my mind a lot lately.

Do you believe there is a balance between old fashioned and new age?

What If

One of my favourite shows of all time is Grey's Anatomy. And because of that show, I also like Private Practice. I don't want to go into a whole synopsis of each show, but they are definitely related. Private Practice is a spin off show.

I recently heard that both shows are going to do a cross over between the two in the near future - might even be tomorrow, I'll have to double check - but they are also going to be doing a "What If" kind of show. It might even be the same episode. But that whole concept got the wheels turning in my head lately, and I immediately thought of J.

What if I hadn't been a member of that other site? How would my life be now?

Well for one thing, I don't think I would have gained as much confidence in myself if I hadn't joined that site. I went from being the shy girl who mostly keeps to herself, blending into the background, to someone that others think are beautiful, and attractive. And I'm finally starting to see that in myself.
I don't think I would have met J either. He lives in Moncton, and I lived in Nova Scotia. I always talked about maybe going to Moncton after I graduated and before I met him, but I also said I'd probably go to California for University and then move to England or Australia. Neither of those happened, so I doubt I would have actually moved to Moncton after I graduated.
I probably would have moved to Halifax though. That was the other option I was looking towards.

I also wouldn't have met such wonderful people in the last 5 years, people I never would've known about or even thought about talking to, given their location and age.

And more importantly, I honestly don't think I would've been as happy as I am now. I might still be happy, but not to this degree.

It's really quite interesting to think about.

What's one event that has changed your life that you think about? How do you think your life would be if that hadn't happened, or if it went differently? 


I'm really glad at the way my life has turned out so far, and I wouldn't change a thing. While I'm not completely content with where I'm living at the present time, I know it's a necessity for me to further my education. It's a personal goal. And eventually it will open the door to a career path in a Nutrition related field.