A dream

It started with the wedding. In this dream, J and I were getting married, but we weren't at the venue we had chosen, we were at my mother's place.
I guess it was a quick ceremony, that detail is fuzzy. All I know is one important thing that happened in this dream: while we were signing the marriage certificate, my grandmother was sitting at the kitchen table.

I remember her smiling and saying she was proud of me, and I did well. I remember hugging her close after we signed the certificate and me saying something like "I really wish you were here" 

The latter is what stuck in my mind the most. My grandmother passed away almost two years ago. I feel like I have a bit of scar tissue forming from that death. It was a major loss to me and my family. So she's still on my mind. Even now. We're about 4 and a half months away from the actual wedding. I know I'm going to miss seeing her at this event. I guess in my dream, I wanted her to be at my wedding so much, that she appeared. But even in the dream I knew it wasn't real. Because she won't be there.
My grandmother and I had a special bond. I feel like she looked out for my best interests. And up until now, she was always there for major moments in my life: being born, my christening, my first communion, my high school graduation, my graduation from Acadia (even if she couldn't attend in person, she was still there). So her not being at my wedding, is kind of upsetting.

Somehow having that dream gave me peace. In a way, it let me know she was still looking out for my best interests, and she approved of me marrying J. They only met once, but I really think they'd get along if she were alive still.
So while this dream did make me get emotional, I can go on with my planning for the big day, and realize that I have her approval.