So yesterday I mentioned how I had a long day and most of that was due to the fact that I ended up being in a meeting for an hour and a half discussing issues with some classmates for a certain class.
Today I was thinking more on that meeting and couldn't help but feel like I was almost invisible during the meeting.
I don't know why. But I just got that feeling. It could be that because one of my previous group members was asked her opinion and she mentioned that she had a great experience working with International students on a particular project. Then someone else piped up and agreed that our presentation was awesome, and proceeded to say that the presentation was made awesome by the first person that mentioned it, and another person in the group. And no they didn't mean me. They either forgot I was in the group, or forgot I was in the room. But I couldn't help but think "Oh gee thanks".
Or maybe they didn't think I belonged at that meeting. There were times in one of my classes that my other two group members decided to meet without me and not even tell me when or where they were meeting. Who knows really. But I did belong there, even if I didn't really want to be there.
I don't want to make this seem like a pity party, because it most definitely isn't. It's just the facts. I don't fit in with these particular girls. But that doesn't mean I don't fit in elsewhere.
I fit in with J. I fit in with my friends from Acadia. I fit in with my two best friends. And I fit in with the new friends I made while I lived in Moncton last year.
I guess it just bothers me more right now because I'm currently surrounded by these other people that I don't really fit in with. And the ones I do fit in with live in other areas of the province/country. It's hard to not feel invisible.
So near the end of the meeting yesterday. I decided to pipe up a lot more and input my opinion. So maybe people would take note of what I had to say and think that I don't just sit on the sidelines watching.
Hope it worked a bit. We shall see.
Have you ever felt invisible before?
Sometimes I attend meetings of conferences and I'm like 'why'? Even after a lot of years of being a fundraiser, there are still times when I'll doubt I fit into one thing or another and that's really a natural thing. They (whoever 'they' is) say it is healthy to question things, within limits.
ReplyDeleteWomen, especially, get the invisible treatment if they are in certain types of fields where it's more naturally male dominate. I guess what I'm attempting to say, not so well, is that it works itself out as long as you don't give up when it's time to speak up!
Re: Bubbles
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. Although in my field, it's mostly female dominated.. well it seems that way since out of almost 40 people in my program, only 3 are males.
I guess I'm feeling more invisible now since the other girls have created clique almost, and it seems like I'm not part of it. Although I don't think I'd want to be part of it now. I more so just want to be noticed and acknowledged like everybody else.