Moving Forward

I haven't posted in a while. But to me, that's okay.
I knew that when I gave up posting at the other place that it would be a challenge to keep up my posts here, not as much readership. But again that's okay. It seems my readers here will eventually read what I write, even if its sporadic. :)

I've been busy in the past month. I finally finished my Masters! And I did extremely well in that. 9 out of my 10 final grades from the entire program were in the A range (A- to A+), with the last grade being a B+. That's the best I've ever done, and I feel I can pat myself on the back proudly for this achievement.
Now hopefully I will be able to find work in this field. I've applied to a couple jobs here and there, but so far no biters. I will keep looking though!

I also decided to move in the last month. Since I finished school, I thought there was no point in me staying around Halifax. I was extremely lonely. So I moved back with J, and I'm glad I did. I'm just happier here in Moncton. I was not happy in Halifax at all. I was alone, and I felt lonely. Even though I had J's support with me while I was there, it wasn't the same as us being together in person. Now we'll never have to say goodbye to each other again, at least for the time being.

 I guess with the new year rolling around, I'll be doing more planning for the wedding. It's hard to believe that the last 9 months have flown by so quickly. There's now only about 6 months left before the wedding (well, 5 months and 3 weeks now!). I'm sure it'll come in no time. But now I'm starting to feel the pressure of the tight timeline. I still have bridesmaids dresses to order, and a florist to book. J still has to get his tux for himself and his groom's posse. It'll all come together I'm sure. I'm trying not to stress out too much. I want to enjoy this whole wedding planning process, and prepare for my marriage.

Anyway, I best be off for now, have packing to do for my little trip to my hometown tomorrow (if the weather holds out that is!).
Until next time,

xoxo
Swimmy.

Tension

For the last couple of months since school started up again, I noticed I was having a lot of tension in my back.
I would wake up for the day and my hips and joints would be completely stiff, and would go on like that for almost the entire day.
I did go get massages at the student clinic a couple times, and that helped a bit for a few days. But that tension would eventually return, sometimes with a vengeance. And sometimes leading me to tears. Now if anyone knows me, I rarely cry over physical pain, because physical pain seems to be fixed easier in my opinion.

I thought part of the stiffness in my back was due to my crazy schedule. Wake up at 5:30am, go to work until 2 or 3, rush home to get changed, then rush off to class where I would sit in an uncomfortable chair for almost 3 hours. And it probably was.

But since last Friday, I've realized that I've been waking up without pain or stiffness. Last Friday was the 2 week countdown mark to my big move. Perhaps the end of my current job was in sight. The end of my time away from J was in sight.  And maybe, just maybe I finally started to relax again.

Moving on

Well folks. I am proud to announce that I'm finally in the home stretch of my Master's program!
I only have three weeks left and then I'm done!  Of course I don't really graduate until May of 2013, but the classes, assignments, and stress will be finished. Caput. Fini. Donezo!

When I moved here, I seriously thought that it would take forever to be finished. I missed J quite a bit and counted down the days/weeks until I would see him again. Now there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I made the decision a couple weeks ago that when I finish my classes, I would be moving back to Moncton.
Which means I'll finally get to be with J again! No more long distance! No more dropped phone calls because of terrible service in my apartment. No more missing him.

I still have a bit of journey ahead as I will be looking all over Canada for a job/career that I can put my education towards, but in the meantime,  I will be in Moncton!

Just wanted to check in and let you all know!
Hope things are well!

The Bridal Show

Last week J and I reached the 9 month mark in our countdown towards the wedding! It's absolutely crazy how fast time has flown since we got engaged. It's already been close to 6 months already.

I'm beginning to get a clearer vision of the day in my head. I've actually accomplished a lot in my planning of our big day, such as getting my dress, booking our venue, sending out save the dates, and booking our photographer.
There's still a lot to get done, such as booking a DJ or hiring a florist. But that will come soon enough.

Last weekend I ventured into the Bridal Showcase put on by Atlantic Wedding Showcases. I had to go alone since my mother was booked in for a previous engagement by the time I found about about this thing, and my bridesmaids were also busy. But that's alright, I found it to be a wonderful experience. There were over 100 vendors at this showcase, so I tried to stop by most of them.
I created my registries with some vendors. Sought out coupons to get J's tux at other vendors. Filled out ballots for other vendors so I could enter draws with them. Received a complimentary massage at other vendor's booth. And possibly found a florist and DJ for my wedding.

In the last week since that showcase, I became very popular. All the vendors I had left my name, number and email with had contacted me at different points throughout the week. Some I had forgotten I had left my information with, but it was nice to hear back from them. They seemed really enthusiastic about being in the bridal show, and I enjoyed that they followed through with creating new contacts.
I have a meeting next week with one vendor to throw a "PartyLite" party with some of the girls. Also have another meeting with the Investors group to go over financial planning.

All in all the bridal showcase was a success. It made me very excited about my upcoming wedding. In January there will be another one, so hopefully I can go to that one as well. I may be dragging J this time though.

Working my butt off

Literally.

About two weeks, a representative from the gym around the corner came into my workplace. This is an all women's gym, so she asked if any of us would like to get a coupon for a free trial at the gym.

I had been wanting to start working out. Hula hooping, was toning my core, but I felt it wasn't doing enough. And that feeling was verified by my mother's voice. I was discouraged and lacking a little motivation. But then this representative came in, and gave me my "in".

I went into the gym the next day to get a brief tour and talk with the sales representative who gave me the coupon.
And then I officially joined.

The first day I was a little nervous. I haven't been to the gym to work out since I was in Grade 12, and at that time I was going with my best friend. It was more of a social thing for us, since right after we usually ended up at KFC getting free food since her mother was the manager.

Anyway, this time around I'm going solo. I have goals to work towards, and I really want to be at a certain weight by the time my wedding rolls around. My first goal is to get under 200 lbs by December 1st.
I'm proud of myself to say, but within the last month, I've lost 7 pounds! I actually weighed myself at the gym on my second day there, which is when I found out I had lost 5 pounds. But I'm guessing that most of that was lost prior to my joining the gym and keeping up with my daily hula hooping.
So I'm slowly yet surely working towards my goals!

I think I can give myself a pat on the back right?

Maybe I shouldn't...

...Talk about weddings so much?

I've been reading a lot of the message boards on the wedding site I recently joined. It's supposed to be a website for wedding related questions to be answered and discussed. But in the last couple of days, it seems like the responders to the questions think that a bride shouldn't be excited for her wedding. Or want things a certain way. Or "shame on you for even asking that".

I don't quite know how to explain it, but that's the feeling I'm getting.
Do you know how hard it is for a newly engaged girl to not bring up weddings? It's a big part of one's life.

But I realize I should tone it down. Might be depressing people around me for discussing it all the time. lol (that's the idea I'm getting from reading these message boards). I actually wanted to write a blog there, but it denied me access. So sorry for dumping this rant on here. lol.

Some of these women have also said (repetitively I might add) that the only thing a Bridesmaid has to do is buy the dress and show up at the wedding, and that they owe nothing to the bride. Somehow I think this view is a bit.. distorted. Maybe I'm biased for being a bride. But I was also a bridesmaid twice. When the bride asks the bridesmaid to be in the wedding, they are hoping to have a support system that will help them get to the altar.

But they should also know the plans as well. Of course that doesn't mean I have to talk weddings all the time. I know that. But when I do, I want my girls to be there for me. 

I'll admit, since I got engaged, the topic of weddings has taken over my mind. I'm excited. This is a big step in my life. And I want to get on the ball with planning. During the prime planning period (which is 6-8 months prior - when ordering of dresses should be done) I'll be in school, and busy with that. So I want to at least get an idea of what my bridesmaids are going to wear before school starts again in September. 

Is that a crime? 

How do you treat someone in the food service industry?

Last night, after a long tiring day at work, I came home and thought about my day. It led me to write the following post over at the other place where I blog. 


"Had a customer today, who was very particular about her order. And wanted a certain person to fill her order. So I honoured her request and mentioned to my coworker that the customer requested his service. Then I went on and helped to gather the orders for other customers. Meanwhile, my supervisor went and got the product that this other customer asked for. And she says its the wrong thing. I rang in what she asked for originally. I can't help if someone changes their mind afterwards and doesn't tell the person who is trying to serve the customer. When my supervisor said what I had rung through, the customer rolled her eyes and said something like "Well that's no surprise". 

I was a little offended. But I ignored what she said and kept on doing my job.

Yes, I work in the food service industry. But that does not indicate by any means my intelligence level. Just because I didn't hear through somebody's mumbling, does not mean I'm stupid.
I've only been working at this place for a little over a month, but in that time I managed do my job well. So much that the supervisor I work with the most considers me one of the best front people he's ever had.
I work hard. I try to go above and beyond what is expected of me. I listen to the customer and repeat their order back to them to confirm that's what they ordered. And if I maybe misheard, I apologize and fix that mistake before it's too late.
And yeah, I'm doing all this on very minimum wage, while trying to pay for school so I can complete my Masters.

I know I shouldn't dwell on these kinds of things, but it just bothered me a lot today. I've already had some hang ups about taking this job, and dealing with difficult customers was one of them.

I guess the best I can do for now is just try harder tomorrow to make that customer happy.
Not that I really need to prove anything to her. I just want customers who frequent fast food places to have a little respect for the workers there.

I mean, you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you right? lol.

I know that customers most definitely keep the business running. Without them, there would be no point. But I have a hard time agreeing with the mantra that "The Customer is always right". Everyone makes errors. Both customers and employees. It happens. But when an error like that is made, insulting another person's intelligence should not be the default reaction. It's rude and uncalled for. The person making the error should take responsibility and apologize.
Even though I feel as though I wasn't actually in the wrong, I did apologize to the customer. I really try to treat others with respect because that's how I want to be treated. Especially in my job, although it usually doesn't happen.
Some people just want to complain and take their angst out on others... most often customer service representatives.

Let me tell you, my patience was definitely tested at that point, but I think I passed lol. All I can hope for is a better day tomorrow. "

I then asked my readers how they would have handled a situation like that. Hoping for some assurance that I did the right thing. 

I honestly don't dwell on miniscule situations like that. But the customer returned today. She actually asked again for the same person to make her coffee. But he was unavailable at the time. And since I was working the coffee station at work this morning, I ended up making it. 

The customer actually refused the coffee I made for her. Which was made to her liking and using a fresh pot. 

My supervisor was available at that time, when she demanded he make a new one, without even tasting it. Just assuming I got it wrong. 

What's funny was my supervisor had to ask me what the customer asked for in the coffee because I had already cleared my screen. 

It really makes me wonder if she's just cranky like that with my other coworkers when I'm not there, or if its just an unreasonable dislike for me. Because she's seriously testing my patience with that behaviour. NOBODY should be treated like this at their jobs. Especially when they haven't done anything wrong. 

It just makes me shake my head with shock and mutter "some people..." to myself. 

I think my supervisor actually picked up that I looked a little shocked when the customer refused the coffee without even tasting it because he said he trusted me and understood I made the coffee right. So that was nice. 

Anyway, how do you treat people who work in the food service industry on a normal day to day basis? And what happens when they make a mistake - how do you handle that situation?  

How would you like a fast food employee to behave towards you when you go in? 

On the ball

Wow.
J and I have only been engaged a little over two weeks and I've been on the ball!
We already set a date.

I already GOT MY DRESS! (yep, you read that right. 11 days after the engagement, I got my wedding dress).

And today, I went and purchased "The Ultimate Wedding Planning Kit". I was a little taken back at the cash of the bookstore today, since this wedding kit came to $46. I had been debating whether I should just buy a notebook/journal to write my ideas down for this wedding. But the journals were $20. The nice ones anyway.
So I went with my gut and purchased the wedding planning kit.
What sold me was that the label of the box said there was a checklist in it. As well as a pocket planner.

I opened that book up tonight to take a peek. So much information! It was kind of overwhelming to think that I'll need to fill that whole book out. But I'm glad I bought it. I'd be lost otherwise.

To say that the thoughts about weddings have consumed me is a bit of an understatement. I have been mentally planning things out in my head for months now. But never really spoke of those thoughts. I think people would assume I'm crazy if I were to talk about my wedding if I wasn't engaged.

But I feel like J and I are on the ball with this thing. I have the time right now to actually think of something other than schoolwork. And the earlier we plan this thing, hopefully the less stressed we'll be around the day. (is that too naive? Maybe).
Only 14 months and 4 days to go! And I'm rearing to go.

The Visit

Me and J in a photobooth :)

This past week has been somewhat of a relaxing blur, as J was here for a visit! He arrived late on Sunday afternoon after a 4 and a half hour train trip. It was also the anniversary of the day my grandmother had passed away last year, so I was super glad to have him around for moral support if I needed it.

I had just finished all the work required to do for the rest of the semester, so I was more than ready for his visit. What I didn't know was that he had a little surprise for me.
He did mention buying me a gift a couple weeks ago, but wouldn't say what it was or give any hint whatsoever. Which is unusual for him. Just knowing that alone should have clued me in as to what the gift was. But I guess I just subconsciously wanted to be surprised by this gift. Had a good feeling about it. ;)

So on Tuesday, we set out for our planned "day date". Spent the afternoon with one of my best friends that he was meeting for the first time. We browsed the museum with the Titanic exhibit (Maritime Museum of the Atlantic), then headed out for an early supper with her.

After we parted ways with my friend, I dragged J across the downtown area to a photobooth in one of the local malls. It's been a while since I've been in one of those so thought it would be fun to get a few pictures of me and J. For the most part they turned out nicely, there is one photo in which J looks super serious. But I figured the top one (as shown above) is a great picture of us. We're so cute in our semi-matching leather jackets :). We stayed in the city until after 9 oclock that evening as we wanted to go to the cheap night showing of "The Hunger Games".

Once we got back to my place after a long day in the city, enjoying our time together. We decided to head up to the rooftop. Now those that have me on Facebook or still read my blog over at the other place know that this is when J proposed to me!!
And I said yes!!

It was super exciting and totally took me by surprise, despite his lack of hints, which should have been a major hint in itself. I remember we were looking out at the city lights and the Bedford Basin as we chatted about love, our love specifically, and how we could see a future with each other. We were also playing around with the flashlight.
Then J got serious, and brought up that he had talked to my father, about marrying me. I responded with "Oh? and What did my dad say". I don't remember the reply exactly. But I do know that J said he loved me lots, then got down on one knee, held out a box with a ring and said "So Jen, will you marry me?"
I started crying right away. Then eventually managed to say Yes!

The whole day now seems so surreal, but it definitely is a real thing. J and I are engaged! We've already set a date too: June 22, 2013 :) :) It gives us about 14 and a half months to plan a wedding. I'm super excited, and still getting used to referring to J as my fiancé as opposed to just my boyfriend. But I couldn't be happier right now. I'm engaged!! I knew it would happen eventually with J, but wasn't expecting it this soon. I definitely love the attention I'm getting from him for this, as well as other people. I am the first one in my family to be getting married now.

So much to do in the next 14 months, but it will most definitely be worth it. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with the man of my dreams!

I have to say, J's visit this time was definitely one of the best :)
How was your week?

Happy Easter folks! I decided to also attach a photo of my new finger bling. I think it definitely suits me, don't you agree?

The Ring!

Giving myself a break

Over the last couple of weeks I've been doing constant schoolwork. I even went home to my mother's last weekend and worked most of the time I was there.
I haven't really had much time to think of anything other than what I'm going to eat for the day, and my evidence based analysis on omega-3 fatty acids and atherosclerosis. It's been insane to say the least. But I've finally finished that huge project for that one class!
I still have one more paper to write before my summer begins. But in order to save myself from burning out and having my brain fry completely, I've decided to give myself a break tomorrow. Take a day to myself where I relax and catch up on shows, and blogging, and think of my upcoming visit with J. He arrives on Sunday. I feel like I deserve this break. And it'll let my brain recoup before thinking about food policy for a couple days.

Sometimes you just need to take a mental health day so that's what I'm doing tomorrow. Of course I'll still be busy, as I still have 1 class to attend, and groceries to buy. But still, at least I won't be sitting at my kitchen table all night over my computer, frustrated with myself for not thinking of a solid conclusion to write for my project. lol

Hope everyone is well!

Kiss Me...

Today was St. Patrick's Day. An Irish holiday, that I don't really know much background information about, but I do know that people use it as a giant excuse to get drunk around here.
I honestly don't get it.

Today as I was walking downtown in the city towards my dance class, I had to walk by a few bars. They were PACKED. And it wasn't even noon yet.
One of the teachers at the dance studio had to run some errands while my teacher taught our class. When she returned, she mentioned running into a group of guys who had already been drinking the last 24 hours, and were then bar hopping. Again, this was only shortly after noon by this point.
Seriously. I couldn't help but judge a little bit.

I know St. Patrick's Day is supposed to be fun. But some people take it too far. And that can possibly lead to alcohol poisoning, ending up in a strange place, rape, death. Especially those that decide to make it an all-day event of drinking, without giving much thought to food. It's dangerous really.

I remember 3 years ago on St Patrick's day. I was in my third year of university, and I had a video assignment to complete that day, that I expected to finish around 7. But it ran late and I didn't finish until 9 or 10. So I rushed home because I knew my roommate and the folks in the apartment upstairs were going to be celebrating, and I wanted to take part.
By the time I got there, things were already well underway. So I did something foolish, and decided to try and catch up to them in terms of alcohol consumption. I drank too much too fast, and about 5 minutes after entering the bar we went to later that night, I vomitted. So I staggered back home, and vomitted again and again throughout the night. It was a fun night turned into a night of sickness.
And so, every St Patrick's day, I sort of feel a flush of sickness. As a reminder to not drink excessively if I do happen to go out and party. But for the most part, I tend to like celebrating quietly. Wearing a little green and saying "Kiss me I'm Irish" to J, even though I'm not Irish. lol

How do you celebrate St. Patrick's day?
What do you think about making it an all day drink-fest?

Some good news

So today marks my 2 year anniversary of being with J. :D

It's hard to believe how fast the time has flown, as it just seems like yesterday that he asked me to be his girlfriend.
It's been an amazing journey so far, sure it had its ups and downs but we still came out pretty strong and still look forward to many more years together.
I'm quite happy today, to know I'm loved and that I have someone to love in return.

Also, the 40 day transit strike has come to an end tonight. Over the weekend the union and the company were in talks and finally came to an agreement. Both sides voted in favour of the deal today, so our bus and ferry service in  the city will be restored on Thursday and Friday!!
I'm very happy to hear this news.

It's been a great day, and while I do have a busy few weeks ahead of me, I'm confident I'll be able to do it!

Thoughts on Pinterest

Anybody else have Pinterest?
I just jumped on the bandwagon a few days ago, and I'm sort of lost on what it is. To me, it just seems like a place where all your likes on Facebook go? Except with pictures of said likes.

And of course when you pin something you like on Pinterest, you have the option of letting facebook broadcast that you did so.
Doesn't facebook broadcast people's likes anyway?

I joined out of curiosity, but not much is actually keeping me there. It doesn't really seem all that original. Sure you have different pin boards to sort all your interests into categories, but really, the whole idea seems like its been done before.

What do you think of Pinterest? Do you have an account there?

History

Even though I'm a Nutrition student, and took the science route after I graduated high school, I always had a slight fascination with History.
Of course the classes itself throughout high school were boring, but the material was interesting.
I'm especially interested in Canadian history, and even though I'm not American, I also find their history pretty interesting as well.

Lately I've been watching the mini series "The Kennedys". It's somewhat of an expose of the Kennedy family. Things I never knew. Greg Kinnear plays JFK, and Katie Holmes plays Jacqueline Kennedy. The series starts with the election, but also has flashbacks to JFK's childhood, how he lived in the shadow of his older brother Joe. How their father had so much of a say in their lives. I find it so interesting.
I think I'm also mildly fascinated by the 1960's era itself. A couple of my new favourite shows relate to that era in one way or another.
I absolutely loved Pan Am - which I think might get cancelled. But I loved how they showed how women were treated during that era. How they had to look a certain way to be a stewardess, the weekly weigh-ins at headquarters. The pressure to always be "on".

A newer show has also emerged in the last couple of months. "Smash" featuring Katharine McPhee, and Debra Messing. While this show is actually set in modern day, it's about creating a Marilyn Monroe musical for broadway. And their struggles to capture the essence of Marilyn, who as you may know, died in 1962.
Her life was fascinating. And of course she had that link to the Kennedys. Which might be why I'm also fascinated by them.

I also did very well in History in High school. And then for an elective, I actually took the first part of an American History class, which took us up to the American Revolution. I wish I had taken the 2nd half of that class the following semester, since it would have included information from the Revolution to modern day times.
I think it's important to know other countries' histories. I like American history because it links to Canadian history in a way. The two countries are neighbours and there are definitely overlaps through our histories.
Who knows, I might have ended up as a historian if I didn't take sciences. I have always been able to remember specific dates of things.

Do you like to study history?

A 6th Sense

Sometimes I feel like I have a sixth sense. I'm actually pretty serious. Perhaps it's just intuition, but at times it seems like I'm really in tune with it.

See, last April I decided to quit the horrible job I had been working. When I put my notice in, I also decided to mention that I was going to be moving at the end of the summer, and requested that they update my employee profile to have my mother's address listed as my address. Because at the time I didn't know where I'd be living, but knew my mail would go to my Mom's and she'd either forward it me here if I really needed it, or I'd get it when I went home. It was really a simple request for them to do, the only reason I asked was so I could get my t4 for tax purposes.

Those t-4's were distributed in February, and I just had a feeling that it wouldn't be sent to my mom's. But, luckily for me, J now lives two doors down from where we lived before. We've sort of been keeping track of the old place we lived, just to see if anybody new had moved in. Last night, he noticed a tv on. New tenants. So today he went and asked them if there had been any mail dropped off there that didn't belong to the new tenants and maybe belonged to us. Sure enough. My t-4 had been sent there.

Totally called that.
I'm lucky they didn't just throw it out. That document is important for me to do my taxes. I don't want the CRA coming after me for audits! Crisis averted though.

My gut told me my t-4 was there, and it was.
Have you had any experiences like mine? Really in tune intuition?
I'm hestitant to call it psychic powers, but sometimes I joke about being psychic.

A new perspective

Every so often, I feel like I need to get a new perspective of things.
Today was that day.
I have been living in this apartment for the last 6 months now. And when I first moved in, I was in a frenzy to try and arrange my furniture in. I was pleased with how it looked at the time.
But decided to change the furniture around in my living room today. This decision was actually inspired by wanting to find my usb cable to attach my Kobo to my computer. I have the regular Kobo, so I can't just download books directly onto it. I need the usb cord to do so.
But a couple months ago I realized it was missing.
My apartment is pretty small, so there's only so many places it can be, and I checked everywhere. Nothing. I'm going to guess that it's not even in my apartment anymore. I might have taken it to my Mom's with me when I went home for Christmas. Or maybe I left it at J's when I visited him a few months ago. I don't know. But it's clear to me now that it's not under anything in my living room.

Anyway, back to the rearranging of furniture thing. It looks great! I also wiped every surface of dust with lysol. Now the whole place smells lemony fresh. I also cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed and took out the garbage. I was definitely in domestic goddess mode. And it felt great!
I now have a fresh perspective of my apartment. Hopefully it will bring some good feng shui in this place, and inspire me to get through this next month of assignments, seminars, and big projects. It's going to be a busy home stretch month.
But I'm ready.

Pets

I'm in one of those moods. It's not a bad mood, more just a sad mood.
See, I had another one of those dreams. Where I was reunited with a family member who has passed on in the last couple of years. This time, it was my family dog. 

The last time I saw him, it was two years ago. I was home for Easter just for the sole purpose to take care of him while my mother went to Toronto to see my sister. 
I remember when I had to leave, I told him I'd see him in just a few weeks because school was ending then. I know that he probably didn't understand, and I more said it for myself. But a couple weeks later, my mother called and told me she had to put him down.
So in my mind, I never got to say goodbye. 


I think I'm more upset today, because I realized that I've gone a long time without thinking about him. And then I have this dream. 
I don't quite know how to explain it, but that's just how I feel. Like maybe I'm forgetting about him, and I really don't want to. 


I like to think that our family pets are very much a part of the family. From the moment they arrive in the household. They are loved, they are cared for. They provide comfort and cuddles, especially when you feel like the whole world is against you, you can always rely on your pet for comfort. That's how I felt a lot of the time. If I was upset with others in my family, I'd go find Gaelin, sit with him on his step and just talk. Of course, he'd never respond and probably never actually knew what I was saying, but he provided an ear nonetheless. The only difference between pets and humans is that their lifespan is shorter than ours. But they are still family members, whether they live for 13 years like my dog did, or shorter than that. 


I just miss my sweetums today I guess. He was an amazing dog after all.  ♥ 

Make Over

I've been noticing a trend throughout all my favourite TV shows and favourite genre of movies: the power of the make-over. 
Unpopular girl is reached out to by a popular classmate who then gives her a make over. And voila. Everybody loves the once unpopular girl. 
I'm surprised Hollywood is still doing this little gimmick in their shows and movies. And I really don't think that it works in real life. 


And what kind of message is this sending to little girls? That they have to be pretty to be liked? 
It's ridiculous.


This reminds me a little bit about a docmentary I recently watched, which was recommended by a fellow blogger.  It's called Miss Representation. I'm not typically a fan of documentaries, but this one hit home with me. I've copied the blurb on the Miss Representation website (missrepresentation.org) which gives a little info about the film below:


"Like drawing back a curtain to let bright light stream in, Miss Representation (90 min; TV-14 DL) uncovers a glaring reality we live with every day but fail to see. Written and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the film exposes how mainstream media contribute to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America. The film challenges the media’s limited and often disparaging portrayals of women and girls, which make it difficult for women to achieve leadership positions and for the average woman to feel powerful herself.

In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65% of women and girls have disordered eating behaviors.

Stories from teenage girls and provocative interviews with politicians, journalists, entertainers, activists and academics, like Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem build momentum as Miss Representation accumulates startling facts and statistics that will leave the audience shaken and armed with a new perspective."

It's a really moving piece of film, and I recommend all to see it. Because as women, we are constantly bombarded with these messages and images of women who need to be "pretty" to get ahead in life. And undermined as leaders. 


It bothers me, and it especially bothers me when certain shows like Degrassi  (my guilty pleasure) buy into these messages. I'm currently watching an episode where the quirky theatre girl goes through a make-over. I haven't actually gotten to the part where others see her in her new look. But I have a feeling it's like past shows and movies like "She's All That"...  or even "Drive Me Crazy" (which actually had a guy going through a make-over and gaining popularity). I'll be pleasantly surprised if the show veers onto another outcome of this make over. 


I wonder what would happen if I got a makeover? Would my classmates suddenly like me? 
I actually don't really care to find out. I'm not going to change myself to please others. What you see now is what you get. 

Childish Behaviour

I'm twenty-three. And I like to think I act older than that. I handle things in a mature, adult way. Or I like to think so anyway.
For the last week, I was at J's for part of my Spring Break. Which was awesome, I missed him so much and was glad to have more than just two days with him. We found lots of stuff to do, and went out and spent time with his friends one evening, then my friends last evening.
Anyway, last year when I lived with him, we bought a boxed cake mix. But never used it. Last time I was there, I noticed that same cake mix in the cupboard when we were organizing. It had a best before date of November 2011, but we decided to keep it anyway. But that weekend was super busy so we didn't get around to it. So we saved it until this week. While I was there, I asked J if I could make the cake. Since I didn't want somewhat good food to go to waste. Cake mixes can get expensive you know.

So I made the cake yesterday. I only had enough time to take it out of the oven and let it cool before J and I left for some errands, and to meet up with friends for dinner. Turns out I made a mistake when I made the cake, because I used one of J's roommate's cake pans to do so. And didn't clean it right away, although I did have the intention of cleaning it later when I did get home.
And this roommate can get very territorial over things like that. I may have written a rant about her before when I was living with them at the time. But anyway, she texted J while we were out with friends, bitching at him for using the cake pan.
J decided to ignore it.
Then as we were walking home after dinner, he said he wouldn't be surprised if the cake pan had been cleaned by her and hidden by the time we got home.
Well, turns out he was right. When we got home, the cake pan was no where in sight.

This sort of annoys me. This roommate of his is 36. She's an adult, but she's acting like a 3 year old who doesn't want to share with anybody. My parents definitely taught me the value of sharing by age 3 I'm pretty sure.

I mean, hiding something like that so nobody but her can use it? It's ridiculous.
I'm thirteen years younger than this person, and I act a whole lot older than she does.
Childish behaviour from adults does not sit well with me.

If she didn't want her cake pan to be used, she could've said so nicely when we got home. I wouldn't have minded. I would have said sorry for overstepping her boundaries by that point. But since she hid the damn thing, well, I don't think she would've wanted me to say sorry. So I didn't. I actually ended up avoiding her the rest of my stay to avoid a temper tantrum.
Which is just as well, because even though I'm a calm person that doesn't like a lot of ruckus, I probably would have given her a piece of my mind by that point. And that wouldn't help anybody, since J would be stuck living with her after I came back here.

I guess I'll never be baking at J's house anymore. Which is unfortunate, since I like to bake, and it goes get hard to bake a lot of delicious treats for just myself, because then I end up having to eat it all by myself.
With the exception of missing J like crazy, I have to admit I'm glad I moved away. I now have the freedom to cook in my own kitchen, comfortably ...although I should have been able to do so last year as well. But I digress...

I really don`t know how to approach this situation. J already knows how I feel about this roommate of his, and agrees that she acts childish and selfish, but doesn't want to confront her about it, because it would get worse. If that's possible. But how is someone supposed to learn how to behave more adult, if nobody tells her about it?

New ink

So yesterday I finally went and got my tattoo in memory of my Grandmother!
She was the only grandparent I only really knew throughout the last 23 years. So she meant a lot to me.
And I took her death pretty hard. So a few months ago, I wanted something to remember her by forever.
I had told J that I wanted a tattoo that showed what I remembered about her the most: her hugs. She always had one available for me when I needed or wanted one.
So J drew a rough sketch of the concept, and I sent it to the tattoo artist.
Yesterday he did the freelance drawing of the rough sketch and the picture below shows the finished product.

As you can see, it's a larger heart with a halo and wings hugging a smaller heart. And her birthdate underneath. I omitted the death date at the last minute. I think it was for the better to not include it. I wanted to remember her life and not when she died, if that makes sense.
And I feel like she'll still always be available for a spiritual kind of hug throughout the rest of my life, so this tattoo is a very accurate representation of my feelings. :)

Just what I needed

After feeling pretty down about myself this past week, my best friend texted me today and said she'd be in the city this afternoon and wanted to know if we could do lunch.
Of course I said yes!

It's just what I needed to, to be around someone who I know cares about me. It lifted my spirits, because I know I have wonderful friends. And those 8-9 girls in my class, will soon be a thing of the past.
My best friend and I talked over a lovely meal at Applebee's, both catching each other up on the past month of not seeing each other. And I let her know how I was seriously getting frustrated and discouraged with the social aspect of school, or lack thereof, maybe even cried a bit.

But since that lunch this afternoon I have decided that I'm going to try and not get myself down over this issue anymore. There's only a month left of classes after the Spring Break which begins at 7:00pm tomorrow when my last class of the week finishes. Then those girls who have made a clique that excludes me, will be gone. They are most likely moving away and I won't have to see them anymore. They don't deserve my tears, and they have most definitely missed out on getting to know a wonderful person (if I do say so myself).
I'm very grateful for the people who are in my life, as they will likely be a part of my life for a very long time. We may not live around each other anymore, but I know they are there for me nonetheless.

So yeah, that's definitely what I needed today. And in 2 days I'll be off to see J for almost a whole week. Can't wait!

Valentine's day

So it's Valentine's day.
As you can probably tell by all the pink and red everywhere. And people complaining about it too.
But here I am, fairly neutral on the whole day.

While I do believe this day has become way too commercialized and puts the pressure on people to spend money they don't have, I think the idea of the day is what I enjoy. What is really wrong with having a day set aside to let your loved ones know that you love them. I think everybody has a loved one in one way or another, whether it is a spouse, parent, child, friend, etc. And yes, I think telling those people you care about that you love them is something you should do everyday. But I don't know. I sort of think that Valentine's day is a good way to break up the winter blahs. For me anyway. Of course it does make those who are single more aware of the fact that they are single. But it shouldn't.

What I think is that Valentine's day is really similar to Mother's Day and Father's day. They are all days set aside to let certain people in your life that you care. And all three are very commercialized, yet it seems a lot more people are extremely cynical when it comes to V-day.
Of course not everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife.
But not everyone has a mother to celebrate mother's day with either. Or a father for father's day. So why are those two days more accepted than this day.
I say enjoy it.
I'm not celebrating today, as I had class today and won't get to see J until Friday at the earliest. But we'll still have our own mini celebration.
And I'll be celebrating tomorrow as well by myself when I go to the grocery store to purchase marked down heart shaped chocolates :p

So I don't know if I'm totally neutral on this, but the way I see it is that even if J and I weren't together, I'd still be getting chocolate on sale either way. Silver lining folks, silver lining.

On the ball

Throughout my undergrad, I got into the terrible habit of leaving assignments until the last minute. Well not extremely last minute, but I'd usually start and finish something the day before it was due.
I decided to change that this year when I started my Masters.

Currently I don't have a job outside of school, so I only really have classes 4 days a week for 2 and a half hours each day. There are a lot of readings, but I've managed to stay on top of those, and do all my assignments for the upcoming week. I was supposed to have something due tomorrow, Tuesday and Thursday. But the assignments for tomorrow and Thursday were extended by the instructor for some reason. But I decided to get them done for this week anyway. I see it as having a more relaxing vacation during my spring break next week, as those two assignments will be due shortly after classes resume.
I'm proud of myself for staying on the ball. It definitely alleviates the stress a bit.

While I see status updates on facebook of my classmates stressing the night before the assignment is due, I can sit back and relax.
Of course, now I'm debating whether I should hand these things in early or not. I don't want to look like a brown-noser in front of my classmates, they already seem to dislike me. But oh well, I'm trying to prove to myself that I can get through this program and not be totally stressed out about it. It's been working so far with separating my course load into 3 semesters as opposed to two. I may have been able to pull off taking 5 courses each semester in my undergrad, but there's just so much that needs to get done now even with just 4 courses, that I figured it was best to lessen my load. I took 3 courses last semester, and then after this semester I'll only have to take 3 more, for a total of 10. And I'll be finished!

I'm finally starting to feel a little better today now that I finished my last assignment that I set out to do today. I even had the time to watch a movie afterwards so I decided on "Breaking Dawn Pt 1" as part of the Twilight series. It was actually one of the better movies in that series.
Anyway now I'm just rambling and it's getting late, so I'm off to bed.
Night folks!

Frustrated

The transit workers are still on strike.
I know it's only been a week and I've seen strikes last a lot longer than this, but it's still incredibly frustrating. I'm lucky I live near my school so that's not putting me out. But in the run of a week, I only have about 10 hours worth of class time. And let's say I get roughly 10 hours of sleep each night. That's 80 hours in total that I've used up for the whole week, leaving me with 88 hours of stuff to do! I mostly sit at home, but I do need to get groceries once in a while. I'd usually take the bus, because the hill I have to walk up to get there is massive and windy; a royal pain in the ass. That would only take about 15 minutes.. and for this instance, it only really takes 10 minutes more to walk there. So again that's not a big deal. It's just getting the groceries home that leaves me in a bit of a dilemma. I walked to the grocery store this past Sunday. Wasn't so bad. I bought all my usual stuff, which included a box of 12 diet pepsi cans. I had planned to take a cab home anyway. But the cab didn't show for more than a half hour, and when it actually came to the half hour point, I was fed up, so I decided to walk home.
I was shaky by the time I actually did get home because it's hard to get the bags to stay in one place when you're trying to walk. And they were super heavy. It took me almost 40 minutes to walk home just because I had to stop and adjust my bags every few minutes or even every few steps.

The only thing I really worry about is getting to my dance classes. They are in the downtown core of the city, and I live on the outskirts. Normally a bus ride would take about 40 minutes. It's less by car but I don't have one of those. But walking from where I am living right now is close to 2 hours. That's assuming Google Maps gives me the quickest route to walk.
And I'm most definitely not the only one put out by this. It's been reported that this strike leaves 55 000 people at a loss for getting places each day. (It's a small scale city).

There were talks yesterday, and both sides took in new offers, but the union walked away this morning without striking a deal. And I won't get into too much detail... instead I'll just leave a link to a news report from today: CBC News report on Metro Transit Strike.
It's just frustrating and I can feel my blood boil. There was an elderly lady shown on the news cast this evening who relied on the bus service to get places. She has a wheelchair and she was crying when the reporter asked her opinion as the taxi driver was trying to fit her wheelchair into the vehicle. It's stories like this that break my heart. I know I'm not terribly at a loss during this strike, but these other people are.

I should go to bed. I'm just making myself angry now thinking about this. Sorry for the vent session tonight! I just needed to get it off my chest.

Need a break

I know it's only been a little over a month since the Winter semester started, but I have to say I'm really looking forward to Spring Break which begins next week.

I decided to take 4 courses this semester, and boy has it been  busy. I'm constantly reading about 30 articles per week. An average of about 6-7 per course. That's a lot of reading!

I've been doing well to keep on top of my work, but still quite stressed this semester. Between the death of that friend last month, schoolwork and constantly wondering why no body wants to hang out with me outside class (with the exception of inviting a whole group of people out to a bar - which I turned down), my body has decided to be wonky. I won't go into detail, just that I think my cycle is all messed up.
I have been going to bed later and later now, due to the fact I can't fall asleep as easily anymore. Not here anyway.

So by next Friday I will be ready for a break. And it can't come soon enough. I'll be so glad to be in J's arms again for almost a week. I'm also getting my tattoo then.

9 more days!

Old fashioned vs. New Age

Back about 50-60 years ago, women didn't work as much as they do now. Not for pay anyway. Most of their work was done in the house. To keep it clean, to keep meals on the table, etc.
Some still do that now.

But nowadays most women are in the workforce for pay. They still don't make as much as their male counterparts, but they are there and making a name for themselves.
I've noticed debates or comments around the blogosphere about women in the workforce. Certain comments about how women belong in the kitchen and need to cater to their families needs at some.
Some may enjoy that. But it's not for me.

In the future I actually want to have a balance between the two. And I'm very optimistic that it's possible. Right now I'm on the path to getting my Master's so I can enter into Public Health. Most public health jobs run from 8-4 or 9-5 Mon-Fri. That gives time in the evening to spend time with family. I don't have kids yet, but I hope to in a few years. I really want to be a career woman AND a mother at the same time. Is that so wrong?

It's a new age. Just because a woman works most certainly does not mean she's a bad parent.
And feminism is not a bad thing. From where I stand, it's about wanting to be equal with male counterparts. I don't necessarily agree with the man-hating side of feminism, because that's going beyond feminism and just labelling it as such.
I know this post is all over the place, but J and I have been discussing our future recently. Like what's going to happen after I graduate and after we get married and have kids. So it's been on my mind a lot lately.

Do you believe there is a balance between old fashioned and new age?

What If

One of my favourite shows of all time is Grey's Anatomy. And because of that show, I also like Private Practice. I don't want to go into a whole synopsis of each show, but they are definitely related. Private Practice is a spin off show.

I recently heard that both shows are going to do a cross over between the two in the near future - might even be tomorrow, I'll have to double check - but they are also going to be doing a "What If" kind of show. It might even be the same episode. But that whole concept got the wheels turning in my head lately, and I immediately thought of J.

What if I hadn't been a member of that other site? How would my life be now?

Well for one thing, I don't think I would have gained as much confidence in myself if I hadn't joined that site. I went from being the shy girl who mostly keeps to herself, blending into the background, to someone that others think are beautiful, and attractive. And I'm finally starting to see that in myself.
I don't think I would have met J either. He lives in Moncton, and I lived in Nova Scotia. I always talked about maybe going to Moncton after I graduated and before I met him, but I also said I'd probably go to California for University and then move to England or Australia. Neither of those happened, so I doubt I would have actually moved to Moncton after I graduated.
I probably would have moved to Halifax though. That was the other option I was looking towards.

I also wouldn't have met such wonderful people in the last 5 years, people I never would've known about or even thought about talking to, given their location and age.

And more importantly, I honestly don't think I would've been as happy as I am now. I might still be happy, but not to this degree.

It's really quite interesting to think about.

What's one event that has changed your life that you think about? How do you think your life would be if that hadn't happened, or if it went differently? 


I'm really glad at the way my life has turned out so far, and I wouldn't change a thing. While I'm not completely content with where I'm living at the present time, I know it's a necessity for me to further my education. It's a personal goal. And eventually it will open the door to a career path in a Nutrition related field.

Strikes galore

A couple months ago I mentioned that an intercity coach line was going on strike in New Brunswick and PEI. At the time I was worried that it would affect my Christmas plans with J. And it did a little bit but everything worked out.
Unfortunately that bus line is still on strike. So I usually have to book a train ticket well in advance if I plan on visiting J. Just so I can get the cheapest price.
Anyway, as if that wasn't enough, the Metro bus system in Halifax is possibly going to strike this Thursday. Which pretty much will leave me completely stranded. See, when I was searching for apartments prior to my big move here, I looked for places closest to my school. Which is outside the city a bit. It's not overly far, but to get to the downtown area, it takes about 40 minutes. I'm sure that's nothing for those that live in bigger cities like Toronto or NYC, because I know commutes through bus and subway can take hours at times. But, on the small scale of cities, I think that 40 minutes is still a lot. That translates to about a 2 hour walk. I google mapped it out using the walking directions feature.
I'm close to school which is good. I won't have to miss classes. But I'll be stranded when it comes to going to my dance classes, which are in the downtown core of the city. And as a student with not a whole lot of cash, taking a cab will definitely hurt me financially each time I use it. The buses were so convenient as I have a bus pass as part of my student i.d. It's included in the tuition and I took full advantage of using it.

There's still 3 days before the strike is about to happen. So send me well wishes that an agreement will be made.
I joked the other day that I'd either be really poor by the end of the strike or have legs of steel from walking so much. I might try and do a happy medium with walking and taking a cab. Walk as far as half way, and then take a cab the rest of the way. It'll cut down on costs, and I'll be getting my exercise.
I guess it's the best I can do for now.

Location Location Location

In 19 days my Spring Break begins! I can't wait. This break I'm heading to J's for almost a week, and while I'm there I'm going to get my second tattoo.

Now I've given a lot of thought as to what I want. Sent the tattoo artist the rough sketch that J drew on a random Pizza Delight cutlery wrap thingy. But now I'm debating with myself where to put this tattoo. At first I wanted to put it on my forearm. But then talked myself out of that for many reasons including:
- pain factor - skin tends to be a little more thin in that area, so having that area scratched with a tattoo needle is a little more painful there.
- job interview factor - I know it's more common now for people to have visible tattoos, but I think employers still judge. I want a public health position so not sure if having a big tattoo on my forearm would make a good impression.

The thing is, I want to be able to see this new tattoo without looking in a mirror and twisting around to actually see it.
So then I thought that maybe I could get it on my side. I went with that idea for a few months. But tonight I thought about it more and decided to figure out a new location.
I have reasons behind scratching the side idea too including
- pregnancy - while it's not something I'm currently experiencing, it is something I do hope to experience in the next 5 years at most. And I know a woman's body stretches in that area. I don't want this tattoo to be completely distorted in just a few years after getting it.

So I think I'm going to get it on the side of my right calf. Above the ankle.
That way it will be visible to me without looking in the mirror and I can easily cover it when needed, such as for job interviews and such.
Not sure how constantly shaving my legs will affect it, but at least it won't get stretched or distorted there.

Do you have any tattoos? Did you put a lot of thought into the location of them?

What's your number?

Tonight I watched a super cute chick flick movie. I didn't think I'd end up watching it ever because wasn't sure about the content. Seemed like it would be one of those stupid comedy movies that are either a hit or miss. Like Napoleon Dynamite.
It's called "What's Your Number" starring Anna Faris.
The premise of the movie is that 20 is the acceptable number of lovers a woman should have before she is deemed hopeless. And the main character, Allie had already hit that number. So instead of looking for a new guy, she wanted to track down all her exes for a second chance.
I won't give the whole synopsis of the movie but I will tell you that I found it to be absolutely hilarious. Sure it was a typical chick flick and followed the general chick flick plot line with a few twists. But it was just what I needed. And of course at the end I got warm fuzzies on the inside because everything worked out for the character in the end. It's not a spoiler alert kind of thing, because let's get real here: everything works out for characters in the end of chick flicks ;)
But that was just what I needed to lift my spirits tonight. Every once in a while it's nice to indulge in watching a romantic comedy.

What do you do to lift your spirits when you're feeling down? 

Invisible

So yesterday I mentioned how I had a long day and most of that was due to the fact that I ended up being in a meeting for an hour and a half discussing issues with some classmates for a certain class.
Today I was thinking more on that meeting and couldn't help but feel like I was almost invisible during the meeting.

I don't know why. But I just got that feeling. It could be that because one of my previous group members was asked her opinion and she mentioned that she had a great experience working with International students on a particular project. Then someone else piped up and agreed that our presentation was awesome, and proceeded to say that the presentation was made awesome by the first person that mentioned it, and another person in the group. And no they didn't mean me. They either forgot I was in the group, or forgot I was in the room. But I couldn't help but think "Oh gee thanks".
Or maybe they didn't think I belonged at that meeting. There were times in one of my classes that my other two group members decided to meet without me and not even tell me when or where they were meeting. Who knows really. But I did belong there, even if I didn't really want to be there.
I don't want to make this seem like a pity party, because it most definitely isn't. It's just the facts. I don't fit in with these particular girls. But that doesn't mean I don't fit in elsewhere.
I fit in with J. I fit in with my friends from Acadia. I fit in with my two best friends. And I fit in with the new friends I made while I lived in Moncton last year.

I guess it just bothers me more right now because I'm currently surrounded by these other people that I don't really fit in with. And the ones I do fit in with live in other areas of the province/country.  It's hard to not feel invisible.
So near the end of the meeting yesterday. I decided to pipe up a lot more and input my opinion. So maybe people would take note of what I had to say and think that I don't just sit on the sidelines watching.
Hope it worked a bit. We shall see.

Have you ever felt invisible before? 

Freaky

Lately I've been having freaky and weird dreams. I don't know why.
But I'll wake up from them a little bit scared and paranoid.

I mentioned the dream from a couple weeks ago about being chased by a man with a knife. Last night I was being followed/chased by a man with a gun. And this time I was a Pan Am Stewardess right off the show. Which I absolutely love. I think in this dream I was Laura (if you're not familiar with the show, she is the blonde one of the main 4). And Kate (she's the red headed one, also Laura's sister in the show, and a spy for some intelligence agency, I think the CIA?)  was being followed by one of her contacts from overseas. I think in this dream I actually got shot in the chest near the beginning, but still lived through it. Surprisingly.

Anyway I won't go into much more detail. But I woke up scared. And it was 8am by then. So luckily it wasn't still dark at that point or I would've been slightly more afraid. I was able to go back to sleep for another 3 hours afterwards but the dream was still fresh in my mind when I woke up later.
I wonder what it means?

Have you had any weird dreams lately? Do tell!

Long day

Today was a pretty long day for me. I woke up and started doing laundry right away. I had a specific outfit picked out in my mind for today but half of that outfit was sitting in my laundry hamper.
After the laundry was finished and I had eaten breakfast/lunch. I took a nap. I've been having weird dreams at night, so they sort of wake me up in the middle of the night and it takes a little while to get back to sleep.

Anyway. In one of my classes, the instructor called a meeting with a select few of us in the class. He identified us as being strong students and wanted our help to figure out a situation. Currently in the class there are 10 girls that speak English as a first language. Then there are the international students who don't. There is a group work component to our class and for the most part groups have been chosen. But they were chosen by the students and apparently the International students want to work with us. I don't have a problem with that, as my group consisted of two girls from Saudi Arabia. It was a group I had worked with previously last semester and everyone pulled their weight for that occasion. So it was a good experience for me.
But others in that meeting today have had terrible experiences with working in groups with International students. They've had to do all the work and still ended up with the same mark as those that didn't put any work into the assignment. So they were frustrated.
And we had to figure out how to make things fair for everybody in the class for this project.  We ended up spending an hour and a half discussing this. An hour with the teacher there, and then when he left to prepare for the lecture we had that evening, we still stayed for another half hour to think of a possible solution.
It was a long drawn out process but I think we figured it out. Everyone will have to compromise in one way or another. I'm possibly going to lose my awesome group I had formed for this project.

Some of what we talked about had to do with the school being really slack with their admissions. Not everyone can necessarily go to Grad School. Some simply don't have the marks. But they get in anyway... why? Because of MONEY. The school I go to has become a business. They want more income so they'll take more students in. And sometimes with group projects, some people don't pull their weight (that most definitely includes NON international students too), everyone in a particular group for a project leaves with the same mark. And not everyone deserved that mark. But they find a way to still stay in the program.
In all honesty, I didn't think my GPA was high enough from my undergrad but I still got in. I'm not sure I would have at another school if I had applied. But since I did get in, I made sure to work my butt off so I could get good grades and feel like I've actually earned them.
But anyway. We had to think of a solution that would help the current issue we were having in that particular class.
Then we had class. Which wasn't too bad. But I was starting to get hungry.
And following this class I had to attend a seminar given by Dr. James Painter. A food psychologist, registered dietitian and motivational speaker. It was a great talk and made a lot of sense to me. I suggest you look at the documentary "Portion Size Me". It may just hold the key to losing and maintaining weight!
I didn't get home until after 8:30 tonight though. And I had left the house at 2:30ish. That's a long time to go without a hearty meal. I did have some dunkaroos, but that wasn't much to keep me full.
So it made for a long day.
I realize this post is all over the place. But I just felt like blogging tonight about something, anything. And what was fresh on my mind was today.

How was your day?

Cyber Bullying

We all know it exists in one form or another. But what can be done to stop it?
I recently got myself in the habit of watching the evening news online from the Maritime news centre since I no longer have cable and am curious of what is happening in my area.
There was a segment on cyber bullying covered tonight. The headline actually caught my eye because it said "Anti-bullying advocates fuming over "dirty" website". My first thought was that the news was somehow clued into the website that I witnessed a lot of cyber bullying taking place. But in fact, it was mentioning a site which might be much worse.
I think of it as a real life gossip girl. A man owns a site called "The Dirty" in which people can submit photos and blasts of other people they may know. Most of the girls in the photos dress provacatively, but is that a reason for their names to be slandered across the internet? No. Some may have had children at an early age. Or may have done drugs. Or have family drama going on. But that's still no reason to spread it across the internet. That's their business and they should deal with it themselves.
It disgusts me that this is going on.
How can we protect ourselves and others from this happening? I don't think we can, as sad as that may be.
Do you have any solutions?

This is ridiculous

Not sure if I mentioned it here, but I have a love/hate relationship with the show "Gossip Girl".
I read ALL the books in the series and it's nothing like the show.
The books were good, if you like reading Upper East Side teenage drama. Which as a teenager, I loved. And had to finish all the books in the series.
Anyway, I keep watching the show because I'm curious as to what the latest drama will be and how outrageous it'll be. It's like a train wreck I can't stop watching.
The mid-season finale was amazing. It sort of followed the same track as the Princess Di scandal/death from 1997... her being chased in a car by paparazzi until the car crashed. Only in the show, the two people that were in the car were Chuck and Blair. And they lived through the accident. And because of it Blair has turned to God for guidance. Which isn't what bothers me.
What bothers me is that there's a character on the show who plays a priest. A scheming priest. I'm not really big on religion myself, but, I think priests do a lot for their church and wouldn't really scheme against people.
Sure some do end up betraying the church by doing bad things. Most of what we hear is about those stories. But for the most part, they're pretty good men and are passionate about what they do for God. I get that. But that doesn't mean I'll be part of it. That's beside the point though.
I know the writers of this show just thrive on drama. They did write for the show "The OC" back in the day... so they try to throw in as much drama as possible. But this is too much. This crosses the line a bit.
So the latest developments in the show currently have me back to hating it. I'll still watch it though. But just wanted to get that mini rant out.
Not sure if I'd recommend watching the show. The books are much better in my opinion. But the show just happens to be a guilty pleasure of mine.
Wonder what they'll come up with next...

Yeah... I was desperate

Believe it or not, I'm a chocoholic. Yeah me, a nutrition student, addicted to chocolate
It's actually a lot more common than you would think as most of the girls in my undergrad and a lot of the girls in my Master's program absolutely love chocolate as well.
But anyway. Since I'm on the journey to lose weight, I've been trying to cut back on Chocolate. Christmas certainly didn't help as I received tons of chocolate in my stocking, and as a gift. My dad actually gave me a box of "Pot of Gold". Which I ate half of and left the rest in Moncton with J so I wouldn't be tempted anymore.

But temptation exponentially rises when it's PMS time. And last night I was desperate. It was sort of late, or more like dark and I don't like to go up to the grocery store when it's dark out. Sketchy area. So I was homebound.
I didn't have any chocolate bars in my apartment. All I had was a jumbo bag of semi sweet chocolate chips, and peanut butter. Perfect actually. I took a small sauce pan, threw in some chocolate chips and a little peanut butter, melted it all together and put it in a dessert dish. I let it freeze for about 20 minutes and then voila, I had a homemade chocolate bar. It's not the best thing ever to do. But it hit the spot as far as chocolate cravings go. Now hopefully that'll hold me over for a bit.

Love

I was chatting with the boyfriend of the girl who died today.
Poor guy, he's feeling so lost over this sudden death of his girlfriend. She was the yin to his yang, and they were a great couple.
It's how I feel about J. We are two very different people but we fit together so well. I'd feel the same way if I lost him suddenly. Only I really don't want to think about that.
After this morning happened, I found myself texting "I love you" a lot to J. We say it multiple times a day as is, but, I don't know, I just wanted him to really know that I love him. And I don't ever want to lose him. I know eventually I will, but I hope it won't be until a long long time has passed.

It's been a long day, so I'm off to bed.
I have to head to the train station tomorrow and purchase my ticket for this weekend. I've decided that J needs me there with him this weekend. Even though the wake and the funeral will be before that, I feel like he still needs someone to hold onto and console him. He lost a pretty good friend today. I'd want him to be there for me if I lost a friend suddenly, so I'm being there for him. It's the right thing to do.

Sad news

This morning my phone rang at 5:53am. It took a while for me to clue in that it was the ringtone I have set for J. I was wondering what he was calling for because we both went to bed after 2.
Anyway, he called to tell me that one of his gamer friends who lived right around the corner from him, had died.
She was only my age too.
I'm very saddened by this news, I didn't really know her all that well, but I had spent time with her and the rest of the people that lived in that house a few times.

Apparently she had a seizure while taking a shower and landed face first into water. It was the middle of the night so the shower had run for hours. One of the housemates realized this and then checked on her, and called an ambulance but I think it was too late by that point.

It just puts everything in perspective how someone so young can be met with this fate so suddenly. I actually deleted the post I wrote yesterday about the gamer code I was annoyed with. Because after this, that just seemed to petty.
I'm torn whether I should head to Moncton at the end of the week for support for J. I guess we'll see.

Rest in Peace Joline.

The Book of Jennifer

Also known as the book of me.
For Christmas, my best friend gave me this "do it yourself memoir" and I've started to fill out a few pages already. I'm hooked. It starts by asking questions about the very beginning of one's life. How your parents handled being pregnant with you. What the reactions were when you were born. I had a little help with those questions because a person doesn't tend to remember their infancy. I think my mom enjoyed helping me when I was filling this section out. I asked her most of the questions I didn't already know by email and she sent a lovely reply, recounting how she and my dad dealt with my birth and the first few days at home.

For the most part, I remembered my early childhood so I was able to fill that out without much help. So many memories I had stored away were being brought up again.
I'm currently working on my adolescence. A lot of the questions for that I have to write that that stuff actually happened in my 20's. First kiss? First steady relationship? Yeah, all that stuff happened about 2-3 years ago.

But I'm having a fun time writing about me. I keep a journal that I write about current events in my life, but this memoir will be my entire life from beginning to end. Something for my future children and grandchildren to read and know my entire life. Not just from the time I turned 21, which is what my journal currently is. My whole life. It's kind of scary because there are some questions that might bring up answers that I'm embarrassed to talk about, but I don't want to leave any blank page or a question unanswered unless it's not applicable to me (like adoption).
I sort of wish that my grandmother had something like this to share with us. It'd be interesting to know how life was in the late 30's and early 40's, and so on. I might give a book like this for my mom to fill out about herself. Both her parents have passed, so it might be hard to recount things about her infancy, but she will be able to keep her memories alive.

Would you ever keep a book about your life? Who would you let read it?

A Strange Dream

Last night I had a very strange dream.
I don't normally remember my dreams and I don't remember everything that happened in this one, but I do remember some key points.
I was staying with this family in a house that really resembled my mother's place. I think I had run away because I was a bit upset my sister got engaged before me in the dream. Anyway, things were going well, but suddenly I had to leave the house because I was getting kicked out and my life was being threatened. The man who was going to kill me in my dream still allowed me to go back into the house to use the bathroom and collect a few things. On my way back out, I noticed my grandmother sitting on the sofa, so I went over to talk to her. I remember having a brief conversation followed by a big hug and telling her I loved her. Then I was on the run, with the man chasing me with a set of sharp kitchen knives.

Out of all the events that happened in my dream, the one that stuck out the most for me was the fact that my grandmother was there. She's the one who passed away over 9 months ago. And this is really the first dream I've had with her in it since then.
So today in a PMS-induced frenzy, I started thinking about last night's dream and had a little cry fest as it dawned on me that the hug that felt so real in my dream, was just a dream and I'll only be able to have those kind of hugs from my grandmother in my dreams from now on. I still miss her very much. I don't cry as often as I did right after her passing, but I still do. And probably will continue to from time to time.
Is that normal?

As a tribute to her I have decided I'm getting a new tattoo in about a month. I think I wrote about it before. It will be a large heart embracing a smaller one in a hug. The larger heart will have a halo and wings. And then the dates of my Grandmother's life will be written underneath. Hugs were always something I associated with her, as I would always ask her for one when she visited. And if she needed a hug she would ask me for one.
I really do hope that one day I will be able to look back on the memories of her and not feel the pain of losing her. But it'll be a long journey to get to that point.

Age connection

I realized something as I left my class I had this evening for the night: I tend to connect more with those that are older than me. With the exceptions of my two closest friends who are only a few months younger than I am.
But I was thinking about last semester when I had to work with two different groups for the same class. Different projects. But one group had individuals who were slightly older than me by a few months or years, and one group consisted of individuals who were about my age or younger. I found that I got along better with the two in the former group as opposed to the latter.

When we would meet to do the work required for the class, we always met well in advance to prepare for what needed to be done. The other group would meet the day before the assignment was due. Plus the conversations differed in both groups but I felt more involved in the conversation with those who were older, than the other group in which I felt more like I was the third wheel and intruding on their meeting.

Tonight for a new class, there was an assignment presented to us that will be worth 30% of our marks. We have to put on a 50 minute seminar for the class on an issue in food security. Right away the group I had worked with last semester who were about my age and younger teamed up with those closer in age to themselves. They didn't even ask me to join. But I was okay with that. I instead asked the other group of individuals who were older than me if they wanted to be a group with me. And they graciously accepted and actually seemed excited about it.

I think I act older than most my age. Whether I intend to or not, but I have most definitely noticed that I get along better with those that are older than me. Maybe it's partly the way I was brought up, and partly from being on that other site. Most of the people there were older than me. Even J is 8 years older than I am, and we have one of the strongest and relationships ever.
I was never one to go out and party every weekend throughout highschool or even my undergrad. Sure there were times I would go out, but that was usually once every few weeks or even months. Alcohol was never a requirement for me to have fun, as it seems to be now for individuals between the age of 16 and 25. I found other stuff to have fun with. I'd much rather a semi quiet evening at home watching a newly released DVD with some friends. Or playing rockband with friends. Maybe a few drinks would be involved but like I said, it's most definitely not required. So maybe in a way I would seek those that have grown out of the partying every weekend ordeal. And yes, most of them happen to be older than me. Except for one of my closest friends, she and I differ in age by a few months, but we are most definitely on the same wavelength when it comes to having fun without alcohol involved. I should clarify that this is a general observation, and doesn't exactly mean that all that are older have grown out of that phase, or that all that are younger are still in the partying phase, because I know of people who are older who still like to party on a weekly basis and those that are younger that prefer to save their money.
I have also noticed that I don't really seek those that are older, it just tends to happen that way

If you met me on the street, would you guess that I'm 23 which is my age? I'm just curious. Because I feel like I act like I'm 25 or older.

An unexpected adventure

Yesterday I had quite the day.
When I first woke up, I checked my bank account online, hoping for my student loan to be deposited. There was still nothing. So I browsed around the internet and eventually ended up calling the student loan office in New Brunswick to see if I had to send anything in for the 2nd semester.
Turns out I did, and it was waiting for me at my school. So I got ready and headed to campus for a bit. I received my student loan certificate and headed upstairs to talk with the Canadian student loan representative. I presented my ID and my SIN to her and she checked over my certificate. 
Only thing I was missing was my banking information. And silly me, I thought that since I gave my information to them in October, that they would already have it. But no, that was not the case.
And to add insult to injury, I had run out of cheques back in late October. I ordered more from my bank but have yet to receive them. I even put another order in back in December because I didn't receive anything yet. Watch in a few weeks I'm going to end up getting 100 cheques in the mail. 
So the representative told me I could go call my bank to get my information like the transit number and the bank ID. So off I went. I stayed on campus and tried to look up the number for my bank on the mobile browser of my phone. But that was taking forever. I didn't know where I could access the internet anywhere else around there, so I trekked on home to get it from my computer. 
After I filled out the rest of the form, I had to walk back to campus again. I was seriously sweating by the time I got back to campus, after having to climb the hill twice. I didn't even realize that it was supposed to be -10 degrees with a windchill of -16. 
Anyway, the student loan representative was gone by the time I got back to campus. Well, gone on her lunch. So I had to wait around for a half hour before she got back. 


After my loan stuff was sorted out, I headed into the city to meet up for lunch with one of my best friends. We went to a restaurant that I absolutely love, since it reminds me of another place I would frequently go to when I lived in the Valley. We had a wonderful lunch and continued to walk around the city for a few hours. I had to stock up on diet pepsi as I had run out the night before, so we made sure to get some before it was time to get home. 


Around 5 oclock, it was starting to get dark so we each waited for our buses. Hers came first, and she asked if I minded waiting alone. I had called the line to see when my bus would be and was only expecting it in a few minutes so I told her it was fine. Her bus came and went, and after a few minutes, my bus came.
Or so I thought. 
I got on, took a seat, and got settled for my half hour ride home. 


Now sometimes the metro bus system will take alternate routes for certain things, like too much traffic someplace due to a certain event. So when the bus I was on took a turn before it would normally do, that's what I thought it was doing: taking an alternate route. It wasn't until it was too far past where it would be appropriate to back track that I realized I was on the wrong bus. I didn't double check the number when I hopped on. It was an older looking bus and I really thought it was the 80. But I think it was either the 20 or the 34. 
I stayed on the bus until the end of the route. I was all the way out in Spryfield, which I had heard was a sketchy place. It was fully dark by then so I was nervous. I asked the bus driver how I would get back into the downtown area and he told me which side of the street to be on and which number to catch. 
I had to wait about 20 minutes before that bus arrived and I was more than ready for it. I took it back into the downtown area. 


After about 10 minutes my bus arrived. And this time I double checked before I got on to make sure it was the 80. And I was finally able to come home. 


I think I need to get my vision rechecked. lol 
The whole time this was happening I was texting my friend who had left just minutes before. She has now vowed to never get on a bus before me so she can make sure I get on the right one, since I ended up in Spryfield and made her worried. 


Although I was nervous when it happened, thinking about it now gives me a good laugh. What an unexpected adventure that was. 


Have you ever hopped on the wrong bus before?